A - ka
B - tu
C - mi
D - te
E - ku
F - lu
G - ji
H - ri
I - ki
J - zu
K - me
L - ta
M - rin
N - to
O -mo
P - no
Q - ke
R - shi
S - ari
T -chi
U - do
V - ru
W -mei
X - na
Y - fu
Z - zi
NG SAN SAN ----- TOJI ARIKATO ARIKATO
SELINA ----- ARIKUTAKITOKA
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Married For Too Long
Three women : one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting over lunch and conversation turns to their relationships.
They decided that night to surprise their men.
All three would wear a black leather bra and thong, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes.
A few days later they meet up for lunch.
The engaged woman : The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made love all night long.
The mistress : Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather outfit, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex for hours.
The married woman : I sent the kids to stay at my mother's house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. He walked in the door, looked at me and said, 'What's for dinner, Batman?'
They decided that night to surprise their men.
All three would wear a black leather bra and thong, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes.
A few days later they meet up for lunch.
The engaged woman : The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made love all night long.
The mistress : Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather outfit, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex for hours.
The married woman : I sent the kids to stay at my mother's house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. He walked in the door, looked at me and said, 'What's for dinner, Batman?'
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Things Are Not Always What It Seems
Two travelling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guestroom. Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied,' Things aren't always what they seem.'
两个旅行中的天使到一个富有的家庭借宿。这家人对他们并不友好，并且拒绝让他们在舒适的客人卧室过夜，而是在冰冷的地下室给他们找了一个角落。当他们铺床时，较老的天使发现墙上有一个洞，就顺手把它修补好了。年轻的天使问为什么，老天使答到：'有些事并不象它看上去那样。'
The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field. The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let this happen? The first man had everything,yet you helped him, she accused. The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die.
第二晚，两人又到了一个非常贫穷的农家借宿。主人夫妇俩对他们非常热情，把仅有的一点点食物拿出来款待客人，然后又让出自己的床铺给两个天使。第二天一早，两个天使发现农夫和他的妻子在哭泣--他们唯一的生活来源，一头奶牛死了。年轻的天使非常愤怒，他质问老天使为什么会这样，第一个家庭什么都有，老天使还帮助他们修补墙洞，第二个家庭尽管如此贫穷还是热情款待客人，而老天使却没有阻止奶牛的死亡。
'Things aren't always what they seem,' the older angel replied. 'When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it.'
'有些事并不象它看上去那样。'老天使答道，'当我们在地下室过夜时，我从墙洞看到墙里面堆满了金块。因为主人被贪欲所迷惑，不愿意分享他的财富，所以我把墙洞填上了。
'Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem.'
'昨天晚上，死亡之神来召唤农夫的妻子，我让奶牛代替了她。所以有些事并不象它看上去那样
'Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You might not know it until some time later...
有些时候事情的表面并不是它实际应该的样子。如果你有信念，你只需要坚信付出总会得到回报。你可能不会发现，直到后来…….
Some people come into our lives and quickly go…
有些人走进我们的生活然后很快就离开了…
Some people become friends and stay awhile...leaving beautiful footprints on our hearts...
有些人成为朋友并稍作停留…在我们的心里留下美丽的足印
and we are never quite the same because we have made a good friend!
因为有了一个好朋友，我们会变得跟从前不一样！
Yesterday is history. 昨天是历史。
Tomorrow a mystery. 明天是一个谜。
Today is a gift. 今天是一个礼物。
That's why it's called the present! 因此它才被称为present! (present同时具有当前、目前和礼物的意思)
I think this life is special...live and savour every moment...
两个旅行中的天使到一个富有的家庭借宿。这家人对他们并不友好，并且拒绝让他们在舒适的客人卧室过夜，而是在冰冷的地下室给他们找了一个角落。当他们铺床时，较老的天使发现墙上有一个洞，就顺手把它修补好了。年轻的天使问为什么，老天使答到：'有些事并不象它看上去那样。'
The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field. The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let this happen? The first man had everything,yet you helped him, she accused. The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die.
第二晚，两人又到了一个非常贫穷的农家借宿。主人夫妇俩对他们非常热情，把仅有的一点点食物拿出来款待客人，然后又让出自己的床铺给两个天使。第二天一早，两个天使发现农夫和他的妻子在哭泣--他们唯一的生活来源，一头奶牛死了。年轻的天使非常愤怒，他质问老天使为什么会这样，第一个家庭什么都有，老天使还帮助他们修补墙洞，第二个家庭尽管如此贫穷还是热情款待客人，而老天使却没有阻止奶牛的死亡。
'Things aren't always what they seem,' the older angel replied. 'When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it.'
'有些事并不象它看上去那样。'老天使答道，'当我们在地下室过夜时，我从墙洞看到墙里面堆满了金块。因为主人被贪欲所迷惑，不愿意分享他的财富，所以我把墙洞填上了。
'Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem.'
'昨天晚上，死亡之神来召唤农夫的妻子，我让奶牛代替了她。所以有些事并不象它看上去那样
'Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You might not know it until some time later...
有些时候事情的表面并不是它实际应该的样子。如果你有信念，你只需要坚信付出总会得到回报。你可能不会发现，直到后来…….
Some people come into our lives and quickly go…
有些人走进我们的生活然后很快就离开了…
Some people become friends and stay awhile...leaving beautiful footprints on our hearts...
有些人成为朋友并稍作停留…在我们的心里留下美丽的足印
and we are never quite the same because we have made a good friend!
因为有了一个好朋友，我们会变得跟从前不一样！
Yesterday is history. 昨天是历史。
Tomorrow a mystery. 明天是一个谜。
Today is a gift. 今天是一个礼物。
That's why it's called the present! 因此它才被称为present! (present同时具有当前、目前和礼物的意思)
I think this life is special...live and savour every moment...
Monday, September 29, 2008
Something That I Have Not Share For Ages
It’s 11:45pm now. I haven’t been blogging for ages. The last time I blog was the relationship I had with CM.
Time past so fast…thinking back it’s like almost 2 years already now…
I have quit from my Charles & Keith job since 15 March 2008 and today is already 29 September 2008. I have been searching around for a job but I haven’t found a suitable one yet. I’m not lazy but I just want to have a long break since my first job started in October 2001. I have been working for Wong Kwok Group, Sagajuta Properties (Sabah) Sdn Bhd and Charles & Keith. All this three jobs I have are really challenging and a very good learning experience for me. I really appreciate working in three different kinds of environment and get to know a lot of people.
During this long break, I have been traveling to Singapore with my ex-colleague, Lois and as well as a holiday trip with Kiong, Connie (Kiong’s Sister) and Cobain (Connie’s Boyfriend). Besides the trip to Singapore, I have also been to Mataking Island, a very beautiful island with 45 minutes boat ride from Semporna and my stay in Mesilau Resort, a beautiful mountain resort in Kundasang.
Although I have not been working these six and a half months, I spend more time with my mum, which I think she is very happy. I have not much time to be at home with her since I started my first job. Now that she is still mentally not feeling well but I can see she lived her life better with me around her everyday. I guess that’s a good sign for me. She just doesn’t want be to be too stressful with my work. As for myself, I would also like to look for a simpler job now. I have been a Degree Holder General Clerk in my first job and slowly advanced in my career till a Franchise Manager in my last job. I’m very much satisfied with my career advancement already. I now prefer a simple job with office hour time and five days a week or thinking of having my own small business.
I think that’s all I could blog about my career. I’m happy with it.
Now to my daily life…I have now learned how to play an online game during my long break. It is called Cabal Online. I find it interesting and fun. I guess that’s because it’s my first online game that I learned how to play from the very beginning. I’m so addicted to playing it at first. I can spend most of my time leveling my beautiful character till it’s so powerful now. After some time I get bored with it and I started to play less already. I guess that’s because I don’t have friends around me playing. Now that I understand why most youngsters will get so addicted to playing online games. That’s because they don’t have extra free time to always play it. They only get to play during weekends or public holidays.
My everyday life is just eating, sleeping, gaming, watching Astro On Demand and going out with Kiong once in a while as most of the time he’ll be gaming with me as well.
I think that’s all again I could blog about my daily life.
Now to my relationship. I really don’t know where to start and how to start. I can say I’m happy with my current relationship but I think my one and only closest friend will know what I think and how I feel. I have been asking myself over and over and over again. I keep telling myself that I’m not ready to be getting married now…BUT…I’m actually lying to myself and just to make myself feel better…I had to think it like this…
When I end my last relationship, I know where the problems come from. I had no regrets because I know it’s the best solution for both of us. Before I started this new relationship, I made up my mind, to give myself another chance to try and make it a happy ending…
But months passed, I have that disappointed feeling coming back again…I don’t know what to do…I have been controlling my own mind from thinking about it for months already…I’m not unhappy but the disappointed feeling is there…I felt bad again now…
I know and understand our situation now where financially we are unsuitable to start another chapter of our life now. But I was asked to attend classes and seminars for the preparation of it. I couldn’t talk to my parents about it. I couldn’t talk to him about it. I’m just too confused. I was not being proposed but I was asked to attend classes and seminars. I don’t know what other girls will have in mind but for me the most basic request from me is just a sweet & romantic proposal. I do not expect a proposal then to straightaway start the new chapter of life. I needed the proposal as I know I can give myself & my parents a confirm answer and planning on what I have to do before the real chapter of my life starts. I just cannot accept when I was asked to attend classes and seminars just because there are other friends or his family member are also attending it.
I guess other girls may have different thinking with me but this is who I am. I’m not like other girls. Being with me had to accept what I feel and think. This goes the same for him. I do accept what he think and feels too. Sometimes I know what I say is right but he insisted that it is not like that. I would just keep quiet about it. Any matters and problems in a relationship have to be shared by both parties…to give and take. I actually do not expect to get a proposal and the wedding to be in three or six months time. Everything takes time to plan and make it goes well.
I guess to other friends who do not know me well might think I’m too eager to get married. But for me, I was insecure in my last relationship, and I just hope to get my security back in this relationship.
Recently, I have been thinking to look for jobs elsewhere like Singapore or KL. I have been disturbed by the thinking of my relationship too much. I worried it might end up bad. I have this feeling to runaway from this problem instead of facing it. In my last relationship, I had a proposal ring but matters get too worse where I just couldn’t accept it anymore. I’m happy we are still good friends now.
Now I’m so confused and just let days goes by again…then waiting for years to go by again…I really can’t do anything anymore. I know our relationship would be so much better if he could just take one more step forward. Anyway, I guess guys just wouldn’t think that way. I guess for them to take one step forward means to risk a very big part of their life. I’m not the forceful type…I’ll just let it go on day by day. Now my conversation with him is getting less. He don’t like to ask and I don’t know when or where or how to start talking to him. I do have a lot of my own family matters that I would like to share with him but he just doesn’t ask and don’t have free time to have a good chat with me…so I guess I shall just keep it till one day when he’s free…
I’m happy that Kiong treats me very good…I guess I shouldn't ask too much...I have to be happy with what I have now...but just I hope one day he’ll wake up and know what I think and feel a relationship should be…
This sure is a very long blog…I’m not sure when I’ll blog again but I just feel so down and disappointed tonite…I could blog this much…
Time past so fast…thinking back it’s like almost 2 years already now…
I have quit from my Charles & Keith job since 15 March 2008 and today is already 29 September 2008. I have been searching around for a job but I haven’t found a suitable one yet. I’m not lazy but I just want to have a long break since my first job started in October 2001. I have been working for Wong Kwok Group, Sagajuta Properties (Sabah) Sdn Bhd and Charles & Keith. All this three jobs I have are really challenging and a very good learning experience for me. I really appreciate working in three different kinds of environment and get to know a lot of people.
During this long break, I have been traveling to Singapore with my ex-colleague, Lois and as well as a holiday trip with Kiong, Connie (Kiong’s Sister) and Cobain (Connie’s Boyfriend). Besides the trip to Singapore, I have also been to Mataking Island, a very beautiful island with 45 minutes boat ride from Semporna and my stay in Mesilau Resort, a beautiful mountain resort in Kundasang.
Although I have not been working these six and a half months, I spend more time with my mum, which I think she is very happy. I have not much time to be at home with her since I started my first job. Now that she is still mentally not feeling well but I can see she lived her life better with me around her everyday. I guess that’s a good sign for me. She just doesn’t want be to be too stressful with my work. As for myself, I would also like to look for a simpler job now. I have been a Degree Holder General Clerk in my first job and slowly advanced in my career till a Franchise Manager in my last job. I’m very much satisfied with my career advancement already. I now prefer a simple job with office hour time and five days a week or thinking of having my own small business.
I think that’s all I could blog about my career. I’m happy with it.
Now to my daily life…I have now learned how to play an online game during my long break. It is called Cabal Online. I find it interesting and fun. I guess that’s because it’s my first online game that I learned how to play from the very beginning. I’m so addicted to playing it at first. I can spend most of my time leveling my beautiful character till it’s so powerful now. After some time I get bored with it and I started to play less already. I guess that’s because I don’t have friends around me playing. Now that I understand why most youngsters will get so addicted to playing online games. That’s because they don’t have extra free time to always play it. They only get to play during weekends or public holidays.
My everyday life is just eating, sleeping, gaming, watching Astro On Demand and going out with Kiong once in a while as most of the time he’ll be gaming with me as well.
I think that’s all again I could blog about my daily life.
Now to my relationship. I really don’t know where to start and how to start. I can say I’m happy with my current relationship but I think my one and only closest friend will know what I think and how I feel. I have been asking myself over and over and over again. I keep telling myself that I’m not ready to be getting married now…BUT…I’m actually lying to myself and just to make myself feel better…I had to think it like this…
When I end my last relationship, I know where the problems come from. I had no regrets because I know it’s the best solution for both of us. Before I started this new relationship, I made up my mind, to give myself another chance to try and make it a happy ending…
But months passed, I have that disappointed feeling coming back again…I don’t know what to do…I have been controlling my own mind from thinking about it for months already…I’m not unhappy but the disappointed feeling is there…I felt bad again now…
I know and understand our situation now where financially we are unsuitable to start another chapter of our life now. But I was asked to attend classes and seminars for the preparation of it. I couldn’t talk to my parents about it. I couldn’t talk to him about it. I’m just too confused. I was not being proposed but I was asked to attend classes and seminars. I don’t know what other girls will have in mind but for me the most basic request from me is just a sweet & romantic proposal. I do not expect a proposal then to straightaway start the new chapter of life. I needed the proposal as I know I can give myself & my parents a confirm answer and planning on what I have to do before the real chapter of my life starts. I just cannot accept when I was asked to attend classes and seminars just because there are other friends or his family member are also attending it.
I guess other girls may have different thinking with me but this is who I am. I’m not like other girls. Being with me had to accept what I feel and think. This goes the same for him. I do accept what he think and feels too. Sometimes I know what I say is right but he insisted that it is not like that. I would just keep quiet about it. Any matters and problems in a relationship have to be shared by both parties…to give and take. I actually do not expect to get a proposal and the wedding to be in three or six months time. Everything takes time to plan and make it goes well.
I guess to other friends who do not know me well might think I’m too eager to get married. But for me, I was insecure in my last relationship, and I just hope to get my security back in this relationship.
Recently, I have been thinking to look for jobs elsewhere like Singapore or KL. I have been disturbed by the thinking of my relationship too much. I worried it might end up bad. I have this feeling to runaway from this problem instead of facing it. In my last relationship, I had a proposal ring but matters get too worse where I just couldn’t accept it anymore. I’m happy we are still good friends now.
Now I’m so confused and just let days goes by again…then waiting for years to go by again…I really can’t do anything anymore. I know our relationship would be so much better if he could just take one more step forward. Anyway, I guess guys just wouldn’t think that way. I guess for them to take one step forward means to risk a very big part of their life. I’m not the forceful type…I’ll just let it go on day by day. Now my conversation with him is getting less. He don’t like to ask and I don’t know when or where or how to start talking to him. I do have a lot of my own family matters that I would like to share with him but he just doesn’t ask and don’t have free time to have a good chat with me…so I guess I shall just keep it till one day when he’s free…
I’m happy that Kiong treats me very good…I guess I shouldn't ask too much...I have to be happy with what I have now...but just I hope one day he’ll wake up and know what I think and feel a relationship should be…
This sure is a very long blog…I’m not sure when I’ll blog again but I just feel so down and disappointed tonite…I could blog this much…
Monday, July 21, 2008
The Right Tea for the The Right Time
Are you drinking the right tea?
1. People who use their 'brain' to work or students who study hard day and night.
--- Should drink more Chrysanthemum Tea.
2. People who need a lot of body energy to work or those people who exercise a lot everyday.
--- Should drink Wu Loong Tea.
3. People who travel on a bike or work in dirty and polluted places.
--- Should drink Green Tea.
4. For people who like to sit down all day long and not do anything, even exercising.
--- Must drink Green Tea and Flower Tea.
5. People who smoke and drink a lot of alcoholic drinks.
--- Should drink more Green Tea.
6. Carnnivore ( i.e. people who must eat meat at least once a day, or feel sickly)
--- Try to drink some Wu Loong Tea.
7. People who go to the washroom too often or not often enough.
--- Should drink more Honey Tea
8. People with high cholesterol and high blood pressure.
--- Wu Loong Tea, Green Tea.
9. Those who work with computers everyday.
--- Need to drink a Lot of Tea (any tea will do).
Whenever you are working with the computer, you should make some tea, drink it when you are free.
Drinking Tea is healthy, it can protect and prevent the harmful Ultraviolet light from harming us (when using computer).
Furthermore, it can also cure us when we are tired and help making our body feel fresh again.
1. People who use their 'brain' to work or students who study hard day and night.
--- Should drink more Chrysanthemum Tea.
2. People who need a lot of body energy to work or those people who exercise a lot everyday.
--- Should drink Wu Loong Tea.
3. People who travel on a bike or work in dirty and polluted places.
--- Should drink Green Tea.
4. For people who like to sit down all day long and not do anything, even exercising.
--- Must drink Green Tea and Flower Tea.
5. People who smoke and drink a lot of alcoholic drinks.
--- Should drink more Green Tea.
6. Carnnivore ( i.e. people who must eat meat at least once a day, or feel sickly)
--- Try to drink some Wu Loong Tea.
7. People who go to the washroom too often or not often enough.
--- Should drink more Honey Tea
8. People with high cholesterol and high blood pressure.
--- Wu Loong Tea, Green Tea.
9. Those who work with computers everyday.
--- Need to drink a Lot of Tea (any tea will do).
Whenever you are working with the computer, you should make some tea, drink it when you are free.
Drinking Tea is healthy, it can protect and prevent the harmful Ultraviolet light from harming us (when using computer).
Furthermore, it can also cure us when we are tired and help making our body feel fresh again.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Good Way of Handling Affairs
Sally is at home when she hears someone knock at the door.
She goes to the door and opens it to see a man standing there.
He asks the lady 'Do you have a vagina?'
Shocked she slams the door in disgust.
The next morning she hears a knock at the door and it is the same man and he asks the same question to the woman 'Do you have a vagina?'.
She slams the door again.
Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has happened for the last two days.
The husband tells the wife in a loving and concerned voice 'Honey I am taking tomorrow off to be home just in case this guy shows up again'.
The husband says to the wife in a whispered voice 'Honey, I'm going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer yes to the question because I want to see where he is going with it'.
She nods yes to her husband and opens the door.
Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and asks the same question.
'Do you have vagina?'
'Yes' she says.
The man replies...'Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife alone and start using yours!!!'
She goes to the door and opens it to see a man standing there.
He asks the lady 'Do you have a vagina?'
Shocked she slams the door in disgust.
The next morning she hears a knock at the door and it is the same man and he asks the same question to the woman 'Do you have a vagina?'.
She slams the door again.
Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has happened for the last two days.
The husband tells the wife in a loving and concerned voice 'Honey I am taking tomorrow off to be home just in case this guy shows up again'.
The husband says to the wife in a whispered voice 'Honey, I'm going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer yes to the question because I want to see where he is going with it'.
She nods yes to her husband and opens the door.
Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and asks the same question.
'Do you have vagina?'
'Yes' she says.
The man replies...'Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife alone and start using yours!!!'
Difference Between Television & Handphone
Wife is like TV.
Girlfriend is like Handphone.
At home watch TV.
Go out bring Handphone.
No money, sell TV.
Got money change Handphone.
Sometimes enjoy TV, but most of the time play with Handphone.
TV free for life but Handphone, if you don't pay theservices will be terminated!
TV is big, bulky and most of the time old, but Handphoneis cute, slim, curvy and very portable at any time.
Operational cost for TV is often acceptable but for Handphone is high and often very demanding!
Most Important, TV got remote, but Handphone don't have any.
Last but not least...
TV do not have virus, but Handphone have VIRUS.
Once kena, terus KONG...so better choose TV...
Girlfriend is like Handphone.
At home watch TV.
Go out bring Handphone.
No money, sell TV.
Got money change Handphone.
Sometimes enjoy TV, but most of the time play with Handphone.
TV free for life but Handphone, if you don't pay theservices will be terminated!
TV is big, bulky and most of the time old, but Handphoneis cute, slim, curvy and very portable at any time.
Operational cost for TV is often acceptable but for Handphone is high and often very demanding!
Most Important, TV got remote, but Handphone don't have any.
Last but not least...
TV do not have virus, but Handphone have VIRUS.
Once kena, terus KONG...so better choose TV...
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Family First
A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.
SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'
DAD: 'Yeah sure, what is it?' replied the man.
SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.
SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'If you must know, I make RM100 an hour.'
SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.
SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow RM50?'
The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior.'
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions.
How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started tothink : Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that RM50 and he really didn't ask for money very often.
The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.
'Are you asleep, son?' he asked.
'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.
'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man.
'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the RM50 you asked for.'
The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you daddy!' he yelled.
Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.
The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.
The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.
'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled.
'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.
'Daddy, I have RM100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'
The father was crushed.
He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.
It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life.
We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.
Do remember to share that RM100 worth of your time with someone you love.
If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily REPLACE us in a matter of days.
But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.
And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family.
SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'
DAD: 'Yeah sure, what is it?' replied the man.
SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.
SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'If you must know, I make RM100 an hour.'
SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.
SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow RM50?'
The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior.'
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions.
How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started tothink : Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that RM50 and he really didn't ask for money very often.
The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.
'Are you asleep, son?' he asked.
'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.
'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man.
'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the RM50 you asked for.'
The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you daddy!' he yelled.
Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.
The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.
The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.
'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled.
'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.
'Daddy, I have RM100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'
The father was crushed.
He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.
It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life.
We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.
Do remember to share that RM100 worth of your time with someone you love.
If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily REPLACE us in a matter of days.
But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.
And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family.
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Men Are Just Happier People
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom : toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children.
A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom : toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children.
A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
The Most Cherised Relationship In Life
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, "I've got something to tell you."
She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth.
But I had to let her know what I was thinking.
I want a divorce.
I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "why?"
I avoided her question.
This made her angry.
She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
That night, we didn't talk to each other.
She was weeping.
I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.
But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew.
I didn't love her anymore.
I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.
The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger.
I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see.
To me her cry was actually a kind of release.
The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table.
I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing.
I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible.
Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me.
But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning.
I thought she was going crazy.
Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions.
She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd.
No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed.
So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy.
Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms.
His words brought me a sense of pain.
From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms.
She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce.
I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.
I put her down outside the door.
She went to wait for the bus to work.
I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily.
She leaned on my chest.
I could smell the fragrance of her blouse.
I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.
I realized she was not young any more.
There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying!
Our marriage had taken its toll on her.
For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning.
This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again.
I didn't tell Dew about this.
It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by.
Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning.
She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one.
Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger.
I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out.
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life.
My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.
I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute.
I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway.
Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally.
I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.
Our son had gone to school.
I held her tightly and said, "I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy."
I drove to office...jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door.
I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind.
I walked upstairs.
Dew opened the door and I said to her, "Sorry Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore."
She looked at me, astonished.
Then touched my forehead.
"Do you have a fever?" she said.
I moved her hand off my head.
"Sorry Dew", I said.
"I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more."
"Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart."
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up.
She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears.
I walked downstairs and drove away.
At thefloral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife.
The sales girl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote: "I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart"
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship.
It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters.
These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.
Do have a real happy marriage!
Relationships are made not to exploit, not to be broken.
We teach some by what we say.
We teach some more by what we do.
But we teach most by what we are.
You don't get to choose how you are going to die, or when, but you can decide how you are going to live, here and now.
She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth.
But I had to let her know what I was thinking.
I want a divorce.
I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "why?"
I avoided her question.
This made her angry.
She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
That night, we didn't talk to each other.
She was weeping.
I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.
But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew.
I didn't love her anymore.
I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.
The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger.
I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see.
To me her cry was actually a kind of release.
The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table.
I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing.
I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible.
Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me.
But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning.
I thought she was going crazy.
Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions.
She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd.
No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed.
So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy.
Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms.
His words brought me a sense of pain.
From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms.
She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce.
I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.
I put her down outside the door.
She went to wait for the bus to work.
I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily.
She leaned on my chest.
I could smell the fragrance of her blouse.
I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.
I realized she was not young any more.
There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying!
Our marriage had taken its toll on her.
For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning.
This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again.
I didn't tell Dew about this.
It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by.
Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning.
She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one.
Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger.
I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out.
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life.
My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.
I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute.
I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway.
Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally.
I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.
Our son had gone to school.
I held her tightly and said, "I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy."
I drove to office...jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door.
I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind.
I walked upstairs.
Dew opened the door and I said to her, "Sorry Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore."
She looked at me, astonished.
Then touched my forehead.
"Do you have a fever?" she said.
I moved her hand off my head.
"Sorry Dew", I said.
"I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more."
"Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart."
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up.
She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears.
I walked downstairs and drove away.
At thefloral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife.
The sales girl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote: "I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart"
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship.
It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters.
These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.
Do have a real happy marriage!
Relationships are made not to exploit, not to be broken.
We teach some by what we say.
We teach some more by what we do.
But we teach most by what we are.
You don't get to choose how you are going to die, or when, but you can decide how you are going to live, here and now.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Wrong Number
'Hello?'
'Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?'
'No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'
After a brief pause, Daddy says, 'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'
'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.'
Brief Pause.
'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'
'Okay Daddy, just a minute.'
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
'I did it Daddy.'
'And what happened honey?'
'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!'
'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'
'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'
***Long Pause***
***Longer Pause***
***Even Longer Pause***
Then Daddy says, 'Swimming pool? Is this 486-5731?'
'No, this is 486-5713...'
'Sorry, wrong number!!!'
'Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?'
'No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'
After a brief pause, Daddy says, 'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'
'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.'
Brief Pause.
'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'
'Okay Daddy, just a minute.'
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
'I did it Daddy.'
'And what happened honey?'
'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!'
'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'
'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'
***Long Pause***
***Longer Pause***
***Even Longer Pause***
Then Daddy says, 'Swimming pool? Is this 486-5731?'
'No, this is 486-5713...'
'Sorry, wrong number!!!'
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Apple Price Increase From Greed
A man called Maha owns a farm which can produce 10 apples every day.
He has 5 workers to operate the farm.
Each of them eats 1 apple daily and it is enough to keep them operating the farm normally.
The remaining 4 apples, the landlord sells them at RM10 each and he earns RM40.
He uses the RM25 to improve the farm operation and facilities.
He gives RM2.00 to each of his workers and he keeps the remaining RM5.00 as profit.
Day by day, the farm is well developed and all of the 5 workers are happy with the money they can save.
When Maha passed away and there is a new landlord, Abdul comes to continue the farm operation.
He says to the workers: "We need to improve the farm> quality and redefine our way of thinking. From now on all of you only need to pay RM1.00 for each apple you eat. It is very cheap as the price is RM10 each outside the> farm."
The workers have no choice but to pay RM1.00 for the apple they eat daily.
Their earning decrease from RM2.00 to RM1.00 per person.
As usual, Abdul sells the 4 apples and he gets RM40.
He uses RM25 for farm improvement and pays RM10 to his 5 workers.
He gets RM5.00 as profit.
On top of that, he gets another RM5.00 from the apples that he sells to his workers.
In total, he gets RM10 as profit every day.
Soon, the apple price increases to RM20 each.
The new landlord gets a higher profit as he gets RM80 for the 4 apples he sells daily.
Then, he decides to give the farming improvement contract to one of his close friend, Samy.
Samy says: "Apple cost naik, improvement cost also misti naik."
So, the farm improvement cost increases from RM25 to RM50.
In actual, the improvement only cost RM30.
The remaining RM20, Abdul and Samy share evenly among themselves.
Let's calculate how much Abdul gets daily:
RM10 (from farm improvement cost)
RM20 (Net profit by selling 4 apples:
[Gross profit, RM80] – [Improvement cost, RM50] – [Wages, RM10] = RM20)
RM5 (from selling apples to his workers)
In total, Abdul gets RM35 daily compare to RM10 initially when he takes over the farm from Maha.
His profit increases RM25 and the workers are still getting RM1.00 daily per person.
The greedy Abdul does not want to stop there.
One day, he says to his fellow workers: " You see ah, the current market price for one apple is RM20 and you are only paying RM1. See how lucky you are! I have to SUBSIDY RM19.00 for each of the apple you buy and total I need to SUBSIDY RM95.00. This will greatly burden the farm and we might get bankrupt if we continue like this. In order to avoid bankruptcy, I need to increase the apple price that you buy from RM1.00 to RM1.50 and I will bare the remaining RM18.50 per apple as my subsidy to you all."
He has 5 workers to operate the farm.
Each of them eats 1 apple daily and it is enough to keep them operating the farm normally.
The remaining 4 apples, the landlord sells them at RM10 each and he earns RM40.
He uses the RM25 to improve the farm operation and facilities.
He gives RM2.00 to each of his workers and he keeps the remaining RM5.00 as profit.
Day by day, the farm is well developed and all of the 5 workers are happy with the money they can save.
When Maha passed away and there is a new landlord, Abdul comes to continue the farm operation.
He says to the workers: "We need to improve the farm> quality and redefine our way of thinking. From now on all of you only need to pay RM1.00 for each apple you eat. It is very cheap as the price is RM10 each outside the> farm."
The workers have no choice but to pay RM1.00 for the apple they eat daily.
Their earning decrease from RM2.00 to RM1.00 per person.
As usual, Abdul sells the 4 apples and he gets RM40.
He uses RM25 for farm improvement and pays RM10 to his 5 workers.
He gets RM5.00 as profit.
On top of that, he gets another RM5.00 from the apples that he sells to his workers.
In total, he gets RM10 as profit every day.
Soon, the apple price increases to RM20 each.
The new landlord gets a higher profit as he gets RM80 for the 4 apples he sells daily.
Then, he decides to give the farming improvement contract to one of his close friend, Samy.
Samy says: "Apple cost naik, improvement cost also misti naik."
So, the farm improvement cost increases from RM25 to RM50.
In actual, the improvement only cost RM30.
The remaining RM20, Abdul and Samy share evenly among themselves.
Let's calculate how much Abdul gets daily:
RM10 (from farm improvement cost)
RM20 (Net profit by selling 4 apples:
[Gross profit, RM80] – [Improvement cost, RM50] – [Wages, RM10] = RM20)
RM5 (from selling apples to his workers)
In total, Abdul gets RM35 daily compare to RM10 initially when he takes over the farm from Maha.
His profit increases RM25 and the workers are still getting RM1.00 daily per person.
The greedy Abdul does not want to stop there.
One day, he says to his fellow workers: " You see ah, the current market price for one apple is RM20 and you are only paying RM1. See how lucky you are! I have to SUBSIDY RM19.00 for each of the apple you buy and total I need to SUBSIDY RM95.00. This will greatly burden the farm and we might get bankrupt if we continue like this. In order to avoid bankruptcy, I need to increase the apple price that you buy from RM1.00 to RM1.50 and I will bare the remaining RM18.50 per apple as my subsidy to you all."
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Reasons Why Children Are Adorable
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'. The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?' The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.' The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.' Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?' Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.' The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. 'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE . God is watching.' Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.' The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.' Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?' Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.' The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. 'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE . God is watching.' Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'
Friday, June 13, 2008
Happiness In Life
We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another.
Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are.
After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with.
We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.
We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire.
The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now.
If not now, when?
Your life will always be filled with challenges.
It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.
Happiness is the way.
So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with...and remember that time waits for no one.
So, stop waiting.....
Until your car or home is paid off.
Until you get a new car or home.
Until your kids leave the house.
Until you go back to school.
Until you finish school.
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married.
Until you get a divorce.
Until you have kids.
Until you retire.
Until summer.
Until spring.
Until winter.
Until fall.
Until you die.
There is no better time than right now to be happy.
Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
So work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watching.
I am going to be happy today and everyday...
Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are.
After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with.
We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.
We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire.
The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now.
If not now, when?
Your life will always be filled with challenges.
It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.
Happiness is the way.
So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with...and remember that time waits for no one.
So, stop waiting.....
Until your car or home is paid off.
Until you get a new car or home.
Until your kids leave the house.
Until you go back to school.
Until you finish school.
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married.
Until you get a divorce.
Until you have kids.
Until you retire.
Until summer.
Until spring.
Until winter.
Until fall.
Until you die.
There is no better time than right now to be happy.
Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
So work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watching.
I am going to be happy today and everyday...
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Jokes For The Day
70 yrs old man asks his wife 'Do you feel sad when you see me running behind young girls?'
Wife replied 'No, not at all, even dogs chase cars but they can't drive it'.
A young Chinese girl going on her 1st date, her mother warned her...
'1st he kisses your cheek; then he'll kiss your breasts, you'll enjoy;
then he want to go on top. You must not allow it so as not to disgrace our family name'
Next day, girl told Mom, 'Everything happen exactly as you predicted. I didn't allow him to go on top so I went on top and disgraced his family'
A white couple had a black baby...
The husband doesn't believe that it's his baby.
Husband: Why the baby black?
Wife: You hot, I hot, baby burnt
Wife: 'Honey, what are you looking for?'
Husband: 'Nothing.
Wife: 'Nothing? You have been reading our marriage certificate for an hour?
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiry date!'
Boy: Mom, why am I black and you are white?
Mom: Listen Son, considering all the crazy things I did years ago,you should be thankful that you are not barking!'
Wife replied 'No, not at all, even dogs chase cars but they can't drive it'.
A young Chinese girl going on her 1st date, her mother warned her...
'1st he kisses your cheek; then he'll kiss your breasts, you'll enjoy;
then he want to go on top. You must not allow it so as not to disgrace our family name'
Next day, girl told Mom, 'Everything happen exactly as you predicted. I didn't allow him to go on top so I went on top and disgraced his family'
A white couple had a black baby...
The husband doesn't believe that it's his baby.
Husband: Why the baby black?
Wife: You hot, I hot, baby burnt
Wife: 'Honey, what are you looking for?'
Husband: 'Nothing.
Wife: 'Nothing? You have been reading our marriage certificate for an hour?
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiry date!'
Boy: Mom, why am I black and you are white?
Mom: Listen Son, considering all the crazy things I did years ago,you should be thankful that you are not barking!'
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Mathematics
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Woman & Man
Woman has Man in it
Mrs. has Mr . in it
Female has Male in it
She has He in it
Madam has Adam in it
No wonder men always want to be inside women!
Men were born between the legs of a woman,
Yet men spend all their life and time trying to go back between the legs of a woman....Why?
BECAUSE THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME
Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now...
I never looked at it this way before : Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?
MENtal illness
MENstrual cramps
MENtal breakdown
MENopause
GUYnecologist AND
When we have REAL trouble, it's a HISterectomy.
To all the women you know how to brighten the day...
To all the men this is just to annoy them...
Mrs. has Mr . in it
Female has Male in it
She has He in it
Madam has Adam in it
No wonder men always want to be inside women!
Men were born between the legs of a woman,
Yet men spend all their life and time trying to go back between the legs of a woman....Why?
BECAUSE THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME
Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now...
I never looked at it this way before : Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?
MENtal illness
MENstrual cramps
MENtal breakdown
MENopause
GUYnecologist AND
When we have REAL trouble, it's a HISterectomy.
To all the women you know how to brighten the day...
To all the men this is just to annoy them...
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Words That Married Men Should Remember
A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean.
So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. 'Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!'
Totally shocked with the note, he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating.
He asks, 'Son, what happened last night?'
His son says, 'Well, you came home around 3am, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door'.
Confused, the man asks, 'So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!'
His son replies, 'Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, 'LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!'
Moral
Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk – 'PRICELESS'
There are truly some things that both money and MasterCard can't buy!
Friday, May 16, 2008
An Amazing Lover Story
He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he so normal, nobody paid attention to him.
At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to being polite, she promised.
They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me go home....
Suddenly he asked the waiter, 'Would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee.'
Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it.
She asked him curiously, 'Why you have this hobby?'
He replied, 'When I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there'.
While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched.
That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family.
That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.
They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him!
Thanks to his salty coffee!
Then the story was just like every beautiful love story , the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life...
And,every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee,as she knew that's the way he liked it.
After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said...
'My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you --- the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything...Now I'm dying, I afraid ofnothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste...But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life,even though I have to drink the salty coffee again'.
Her tears made the letter totally wet.
Someday, someone asked her, 'What'sthe taste of salty coffee?'
'It's sweet', she replied.
Love is Not 2 forget but 2 forgive,
Not 2 c but 2 understand,
Not 2 hear but 2 listen,
Not 2 let go but 2 HOLD ON !
Don't ever leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.
Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, '...that's her.'
At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to being polite, she promised.
They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me go home....
Suddenly he asked the waiter, 'Would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee.'
Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it.
She asked him curiously, 'Why you have this hobby?'
He replied, 'When I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there'.
While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched.
That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family.
That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.
They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him!
Thanks to his salty coffee!
Then the story was just like every beautiful love story , the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life...
And,every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee,as she knew that's the way he liked it.
After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said...
'My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you --- the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything...Now I'm dying, I afraid ofnothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste...But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life,even though I have to drink the salty coffee again'.
Her tears made the letter totally wet.
Someday, someone asked her, 'What'sthe taste of salty coffee?'
'It's sweet', she replied.
Love is Not 2 forget but 2 forgive,
Not 2 c but 2 understand,
Not 2 hear but 2 listen,
Not 2 let go but 2 HOLD ON !
Don't ever leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.
Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, '...that's her.'
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Employment Contract
Dear Staff,
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada sneakers and carrying a Gucci bag we assume that you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need araise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.
Lunch Breaks
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average size. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a SlimFast and take a diet pill.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Restroom Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of 3 minutes, analarm will sound, the toilet pater roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offender" category.
Surgery
As long as you are employed here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed will constitute a breach of employment.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, and input should be directed elsewhere.
Have a nice week.
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada sneakers and carrying a Gucci bag we assume that you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need araise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.
Lunch Breaks
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average size. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a SlimFast and take a diet pill.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Restroom Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of 3 minutes, analarm will sound, the toilet pater roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offender" category.
Surgery
As long as you are employed here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed will constitute a breach of employment.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, and input should be directed elsewhere.
Have a nice week.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
5-Minute Management Course
Lesson 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'>
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob, the next-door neighbor,' she replies.
'Great!' the husband says. 'Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story : If you share critical information pertaining to company / depart info, you may want to check it first to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2
A priest offered a nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized, 'Sorry, Sister, but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story : If you are not well informed in your job, opportunities for advancement will pass right by you.
Lesson 3
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story : Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered, 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story : To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.
'They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story : Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and shit on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story :
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3. And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'>
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob, the next-door neighbor,' she replies.
'Great!' the husband says. 'Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story : If you share critical information pertaining to company / depart info, you may want to check it first to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2
A priest offered a nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized, 'Sorry, Sister, but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story : If you are not well informed in your job, opportunities for advancement will pass right by you.
Lesson 3
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story : Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered, 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story : To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.
'They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story : Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and shit on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story :
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3. And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Men Are Hard To Please
The problems with GUYS
If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;
If u Don't, he says u are PROUD;
If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;
If u Don't , he says u are from VILLAGE;
If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN;
If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS;
If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;
If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT;
If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;
If u Love him! , he will try to LEAVE u;(very true huh?)
If u don't make love with him, he says u don't Love him;
If u do!! he says u are CHEAP;
If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;
If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him;
If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;
If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.
If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so;
If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;
If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMAN;
If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;
If he does WELL, it's BRAINS;
If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;
If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!! & sooo hard to please!!!
If u send this to guys, they will swear that it's true...but if u don't, they say u are selfish...
If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;
If u Don't, he says u are PROUD;
If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;
If u Don't , he says u are from VILLAGE;
If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN;
If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS;
If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;
If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT;
If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;
If u Love him! , he will try to LEAVE u;(very true huh?)
If u don't make love with him, he says u don't Love him;
If u do!! he says u are CHEAP;
If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;
If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him;
If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;
If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.
If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so;
If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;
If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMAN;
If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;
If he does WELL, it's BRAINS;
If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;
If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!! & sooo hard to please!!!
If u send this to guys, they will swear that it's true...but if u don't, they say u are selfish...
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