Quick Laugh for 5 Minutes

Teacher : History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past. Student : Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Teacher : Why?
Student : There is no future in it

Teacher : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?Ted : $10.
Teacher : You don't know maths.
Ted : You don't know my father

Mother : David, come here.
David : Yes, mum?
Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother : I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.

Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son : On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father : So?
Son : On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.
If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?

A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.

Daughter : It's mummy!
Father : How do you know?
Daughter : She didn't say anything

Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love

Manv: How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me
Man : How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born

Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.

Teacher : Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Simon : No, teacher, it's the same dog!

Father : Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son : That's why I say she's no good!

Teacher : "Where were u born?"
Student : "Singapore , Sir."
Teacher : "Which part?"
Student : "All of me, Sir."

A teacher was asking her class : "What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?"
Only one hand shot up. "Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher.
"Unlawful" is when u do something the law doesn't allow and "Illegal" is a sick eagle."

Teacher : "How come you do not comb your hair?"
Ah Kow : "No comb, Sir."
Teacher : "Use your dad's then."
Ah Kow : "No hair, Sir."

A boy came home from school with his exam results.
"What did u get?" asked his father.
"My marks are under water," said the boy.
"What do u mean 'under water'?"
"They are all below 'C' (sea) level"