Why We Get Married?

Wife : What are you doing?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing ...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour!
Husband : I was looking for the expiry date.

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure ! What are my choices ?
Wife : Yes and No.

Wife : You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why ?
Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture, and the problem disappears.
Wife : You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you ?
Hubby : Yes! I see your picture and ask myself --- what other problem can be greater than this one?

Girl : When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy : It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl : Well that's because we aren't married yet !

Son : Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom : Well, you have done the right thing.
Son : But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

A newly married man asked his wife "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"

Girl to her boyfriend : One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies : Thanks for the early warning.

A wife asked her husband : What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?
He looked at her from head to toe and replied : I like your sense of humor.